I struggled so much with whether or not I wanted to publicly share our IVF journey (with friends, family and coworkers). David was always for it. He wanted people to know that this baby was nothing short of a miracle. I finally came around and realized he was right, and we decided to share our "IVF story" today on social media, as it's the start of National Infertility Awareness Week. I posted a Note to my FB account and so far have been overwhelmed with the support and positive responses. Here's what it says:
Dear Friends and Family,
By now you have probably heard the wonderful news that David and I are expecting our little Nelson Nugget at the end of July. What you may not know, however, is the incredible journey we embarked on to get to this place. When David and I decided we were ready to add to our family in September of 2015, we soon discovered that it would not be so easy. To make a long story short, we learned that the only way we could conceive would be through in vitro fertilization (IVF). After meeting with our doctor in December, we prayed long and hard over this decision and did much research before deciding we wanted to continue on this journey. So for the past year, whenever anyone has asked me when we're having kids, I've just smiled...even though deep down inside I would be crying.
As soon as I was finished teaching my spring 2016 semester, I flew to Maryland to start the IVF process. And let me tell you...it was not easy. I do not like needles, and IVF requires a lot of needles! I had my blood drawn every other day to the point that both my arms were black and blue. I had invasive ultrasounds done every other day. I learned to give myself subcutaneous injections--2 to 3 per day--and later my mom and David learned to give me nightly intramuscular injections. (In total, I have had ~108 injections.) All the while, we dealt with the emotional roller coaster that comes with IVF. There are so many hurdles you must get over before moving on to the next step, and if one fails, you have to start over. Our first transfer in July was unsuccessful; the embryo did not implant. I was devastated. I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't think I could go back to work in the fall. Yet somehow, by the grace of God, I picked myself up again. In November, I flew back to Maryland and transferred our last frozen embryo. This little miracle embryo implanted, and we are 26 weeks,1 day pregnant today.
The reason I am sharing this is because I do not want people to think that this was an easy, planned, journey for us...because it wasn't. At the same time, we were blessed to find out about our need for IVF from the very beginning, and I am very thankful for that. I know several people who have experienced (and are experiencing) the hardships of infertility...and have experienced this for too long. My heart truly goes out to them as I can only share in some of the pain they feel.
While I know most of you are happy for us, I know that some of you may also have some questions...and I am happy to try to answer them if you want to private message me. Please note that this is a very sensitive topic for us, so if for some reason, you are against our choice of doing IVF, please refrain from contacting me, as I do not wish to get into an argument or debate about one of the happiest moments in our lives. However, I will share that we did not have to worry about multiples, as our doctor practices elective single embryo transfer (eSET), so we only transferred 1 embryo at a time. And in our case, we are not worrying about extra, frozen embryos. We had 2 embryos and we transferred both of them. The first one did not implant, and the second one did.
David and I just wanted to be honest and transparent about our journey. We got the good news the day before Thanksgiving and we were elated...but even then, we were not "out of the woods." I still had multiple blood tests and ultrasounds before my doctor would release me into the care of my OB/GYN. At 5 weeks, 6 days gestation, we had a scare and I ended up in the ER. I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma (SCH) and was put on bed rest. The SCH was a scary diagnosis because it is linked to an elevated risk of miscarriage or pre-term labor. (As of the 3/10/17 anatomy scan, the SCH is no longer showing up on he U/S.) Beyond the medical side of things, there are also the the financial burdens associated with this. Unfortunately, our insurance does not cover fertility treatments, so we are paying for everything out of pocket. Some have asked if they could donate to our IVF fund, and the answer is yes, we would be so very grateful. We have an IVF GoFundMe account set up here if you are interested.
Thank you for taking the time to listen to our story. We hope this doesn't change how any of you feel about us, but we wanted our story to be heard. This week (April 23-29) is actually National Infertility Awareness Week, which felt like the perfect time to share our story with you. Did you know that 1 in 8 couples struggle to build a family? "The CDC tells us that this is 15% of couples in America. Infertility does not discriminate based on race, religion, sexuality or economic status. You never know how badly you want something until you are told that it may not be possible." For more information, please visit https://infertilityawareness.org/about-niaw.
Love,
Dorothy & David
Post Note: We are overwhelmed with the positive responses we have received. To be honest, I never knew if I wanted to share this story with anyone. It’s something I’ve gone back and forth with for months. Part of me worried that we would be judged for the particular route we chose to expand our family, whether for moral, religious, or other reasons. Part of me just didn’t want the whole world to know after we’d kept this secret for so long. David is the one that encouraged me to share our story, and I’m glad he gave me that push. We’ve gotten to see Baby Nelson since she was just a small cluster of cells and it’s hard to believe that that tiny little miracle embryo is now kicking me as I write this. (She kicks even more when I eat pizza.) Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It truly means a lot. :)
Showing posts with label SCH. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SCH. Show all posts
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Second Ultrasound
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U/S from 12/19/16: Heartbeat (178 bpm) seen,
small SCH superior to (above) fetus; measuring at 8 weeks, 2 days;
CRL: 17.8 mm, Yolk Sac: 3.7 mm; SCH: 2.2 x 0.7 x 1.9 CM
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It's amazing how much Baby Nelson has grown in just over a week. S/he is still relatively small (the size of a raspberry), but is still bigger than the last U/S (the size of a blueberry)!
The SCH is still there, and is actually a little larger than it was last time. I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor to see if he is at all concerned. If everything looks good, it's possible that he will officially release me into the care of my OB/GYN tomorrow!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Update - Part 2
On the afternoon of 11/30/16, I was sitting in my colleague's office and I started getting sharp abdominal (period-like) cramps. I didn't think much of it, as I had had occasional cramping here and there. When I got home a couple hours later, I was devastated to see blood. I knew that spotting was ok, but this to me seemed to be way more than spotting. With shaking hands, I texted David: "I think I'm having a miscarriage." He thought I was just worrying, and told me not to worry, but all I could manage to get out was "No. You need to come home now." The on-call nurse at the fertility clinic was very kind and asked me how much blood I saw, what it looked like, and said that I should try to schedule an U/S with the OBGYN in the morning. She said if I felt like I couldn't relax, I could go to the ER, but that they may or may not have the means to do much. I decided I couldn't wait, and as soon as David got home, we immediately drove to the ER.
When I was waiting to be triaged, I realized I had left some notes (my medication information) at home, so David kindly went back home to retrieve them (as well as my injection). I had just been triaged when he returned. My coworker was so kind and came to see me while I was waiting. I was not expecting to see her, and immediately burst into tears when she gave me a hug. It meant so much to me to know that she cared about me and my well-being. Not long after, I was called back to a hospital bed where the nurse took down my information, took my vitals, and inserted an IV catheter into my arm to draw blood. Awhile later, the doctor came in and spoke to me. By this time, it was nearly 10pm. He ordered an ultrasound. The U/S technician wheeled me away and first did an abdominal U/S and then a transvaginal U/S. It was killing me because I couldn't see the screen, and she didn't say what she saw or what she was taking measurements of. When I got back to the hospital bed, I was so tired, and got a little bit of sleep. A little bit after midnight, the doctor came back in and told me that the cause of my bleed was from a small subchorionic hematoma (SCH), which was one of the better things I could have hoped for. He said that they were able to see the fetal pole and a yolk sac, but no heartbeat, which was ok, since it was still early. He said I was measuring at exactly 5 weeks, 6 days gestation (2 days more than I was expecting). I was just so glad to hear that I hadn't miscarried, and that the baby was developing as expected. My first U/S was not scheduled until 12/8/16, so it was great news to hear this. My HCG had also increased to 9,177 which was more good news. While the SCH was (and is) scary to me, I know it's something that happens more often with IVF patients, and I know that it is something that can often times resolve on its own. However, a SCH could possibly cause the placenta to separate from the uterine wall, and may be linked to an elevated risk of miscarriage and pre-term labor...so I was advised to be cautiously optimistic. The doctor told me to take it easy for the next few days and try to get into the OBGYN for another U/S. We were at the ER for 6+ hours that night!
After speaking to the OBGYN office the next day, we decided to keep my U/S appointment scheduled for 12/8/16. I took the day off and rested the entire weekend. On Monday, I went back to work (cautiously) and made a point to sit down, take the elevator, and rest as much as I could. Thankfully, this week was Reading Week (and next week is Finals), so my schedule has allowed for me to take it pretty easy.
I was immediately flooded with an overwhelming amount of emotions and started crying. I wasn't even expecting to see the heartbeat flicker, and here it was beating away at 132 beats per minute, right in the expected range! She showed us the womb, the fetal pole, and the yolk sac. It was an amazing site and I'm still on cloud nine thinking about it!
Our next U/S is scheduled for Monday, 12/19/16. I will be finished with the semester by then, and if it's good news, hopefully my doctor will release me into the care of my OBGYN! I have my first prenatal appointment scheduled for 12/28/16. David and I told his family the good news today (Sunday, 12/11/16). It was bittersweet, as we were planning to drive up to Coeur d'Alene, ID this year to celebrate Christmas in a beautiful rented lake house. However, with it being so early in the pregnancy, and now with the higher risks attributed to the SCH, it is best for us to stay in town should anything go wrong. We were bummed to break the news that we couldn't join them for Christmas after all, but we were also so excited to share the news that we're pregnant!
When I was waiting to be triaged, I realized I had left some notes (my medication information) at home, so David kindly went back home to retrieve them (as well as my injection). I had just been triaged when he returned. My coworker was so kind and came to see me while I was waiting. I was not expecting to see her, and immediately burst into tears when she gave me a hug. It meant so much to me to know that she cared about me and my well-being. Not long after, I was called back to a hospital bed where the nurse took down my information, took my vitals, and inserted an IV catheter into my arm to draw blood. Awhile later, the doctor came in and spoke to me. By this time, it was nearly 10pm. He ordered an ultrasound. The U/S technician wheeled me away and first did an abdominal U/S and then a transvaginal U/S. It was killing me because I couldn't see the screen, and she didn't say what she saw or what she was taking measurements of. When I got back to the hospital bed, I was so tired, and got a little bit of sleep. A little bit after midnight, the doctor came back in and told me that the cause of my bleed was from a small subchorionic hematoma (SCH), which was one of the better things I could have hoped for. He said that they were able to see the fetal pole and a yolk sac, but no heartbeat, which was ok, since it was still early. He said I was measuring at exactly 5 weeks, 6 days gestation (2 days more than I was expecting). I was just so glad to hear that I hadn't miscarried, and that the baby was developing as expected. My first U/S was not scheduled until 12/8/16, so it was great news to hear this. My HCG had also increased to 9,177 which was more good news. While the SCH was (and is) scary to me, I know it's something that happens more often with IVF patients, and I know that it is something that can often times resolve on its own. However, a SCH could possibly cause the placenta to separate from the uterine wall, and may be linked to an elevated risk of miscarriage and pre-term labor...so I was advised to be cautiously optimistic. The doctor told me to take it easy for the next few days and try to get into the OBGYN for another U/S. We were at the ER for 6+ hours that night!
After speaking to the OBGYN office the next day, we decided to keep my U/S appointment scheduled for 12/8/16. I took the day off and rested the entire weekend. On Monday, I went back to work (cautiously) and made a point to sit down, take the elevator, and rest as much as I could. Thankfully, this week was Reading Week (and next week is Finals), so my schedule has allowed for me to take it pretty easy.
 |
| U/S from 12/8/16: Fetal pole, yolk sac, & heartbeat (132 bpm) seen, small SCH superior to (above) fetus; measuring at 6 weeks, 5 days; CRL: 7.6 mm, Yolk Sac: 2.1 mm; SCH: 1.3 x 0.4 x 1.2 CM |
Yesterday (12/8/16), the entire day dragged as I waited for my U/S appointment at 2:40pm. When it was finally time, David met me in the waiting room. We were then led back to the U/S technician's office where I gave her a brief history of our IVF story as well as the ER visit. I was so nervous when she started the U/S. What if there's no heartbeat? What if the baby stopped developing? What if there's no baby and just an empty sac? What if the SCH has gotten bigger? What if I've miscarried? Every possible thought ran through my head. I got nervous when David stood up to look at the screen, and suddenly, the tech turned it to show us, and she said "There's the heartbeat."
I was immediately flooded with an overwhelming amount of emotions and started crying. I wasn't even expecting to see the heartbeat flicker, and here it was beating away at 132 beats per minute, right in the expected range! She showed us the womb, the fetal pole, and the yolk sac. It was an amazing site and I'm still on cloud nine thinking about it!
Our next U/S is scheduled for Monday, 12/19/16. I will be finished with the semester by then, and if it's good news, hopefully my doctor will release me into the care of my OBGYN! I have my first prenatal appointment scheduled for 12/28/16. David and I told his family the good news today (Sunday, 12/11/16). It was bittersweet, as we were planning to drive up to Coeur d'Alene, ID this year to celebrate Christmas in a beautiful rented lake house. However, with it being so early in the pregnancy, and now with the higher risks attributed to the SCH, it is best for us to stay in town should anything go wrong. We were bummed to break the news that we couldn't join them for Christmas after all, but we were also so excited to share the news that we're pregnant!
Update - Part 1
It has been a month since my transfer and boy, has it been a whirlwind!
My transfer (on Thursday, 11/10/16) went well. I went to my acupuncture appointment beforehand, suffered through the discomfort of a full bladder during the transfer, went to my follow up acupuncture appointment, and then went home and rested. While I took things pretty easy last time, I was even more "lazy" this time around and stayed in bed (or lied on the couch) for essentially the entire time I was at home (Thursday-Monday). I even switched my flight to a day later to give myself an extra day. I ate pineapple core, walnuts and Brazil nuts, drank pomegranate juice, and kept my feet warm. I was extra careful to sleep on my back only, and then eventually started sleeping on my sides as well.
On Tuesday, 11/15/16, I flew back home. David met me at the airport, and as soon as we got my luggage, we hopped in the car and stopped in a random parking lot so he could give me my Progesterone injection. The next day, I went back to work. I had 2 days of work that week, and thankfully, only 1 the next (since it was the week of Thanksgiving). I tried to use automatic doors and take the elevator as much as I possibly could. We spent Thanksgiving with friends, but other than that, I laid low and tried to use as little energy/strength as possible.
I had every intention of not doing a HPT, but on the evening of Friday, 11/18/16 (8dp5dt), David (forgot) and playfully smacked me on my butt, which immediately made me start freaking out. I gave in to my anxieties and took a cheap dollar store test, fully expecting it to be negative...except a faint second line finally appeared after the full 5 minute wait! At first, I thought it was a phantom line, and I read and re-read the instructions. After the wait time, it was clear that while light, there was definitely a second line! I called him into the bathroom and asked him what he saw. I think his reply was something like, "I'm going to be very cautious before believing anything." All the anxieties, fear, and worry, immediately rushed away. I could not believe it!
The next day, and the next day, and the next day, I took several more dollar store tests. I checked to see if the second line was still there and if it was getting darker. I even splurged and got a First Response Early Result test, and the second line was darker than the control line.
What was so weird was that during my 2ww, I did not have many symptoms at all, if any. The first transfer, I had headaches, cramping, heartburn, nausea...this time around, I had a couple headaches that I attributed to the injections...but a few days before taking the HPT, I remember sleeping with my hands on my abdomen, and I felt pregnant. Of course, I dismissed the idea, since I didn't know what it felt like to be pregnant.
Finding out I was pregnant was the most amazing feeling in the world, but it sucked because the only person I could share it with was David. We didn't want to share it with anyone else until I had passed all my beta tests and possibly even heard the heartbeat. My first beta was scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving, so we thought it would be perfect to tell my parents (who were visiting my brother) on Thanksgiving day. I was so nervous on the day of the beta (11/23/16), but was so excited when my nurse called me. She said, "Congratulations. You're pregnant!" and told me that my HCG level was at 665.7, which was higher than I had expected. My second beta was scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving, 11/25/16, and the number rose to 1,690. The third was that following Monday, 11/28/16, and it was 6,013!
I thought that getting a positive on a HPT would make everything super easy from there on out, but I was so wrong. With IVF, you are faced with so many hurdles during the entire process, and no sooner do you make it over one, that you are faced with ten more. The doctor wants to see your betas rise (preferably by 65%) with each test. After that, you are scheduled for ultrasounds at 6-7 weeks and then again at 8-9 weeks. He expects to see major milestones in development such as a fetal pole and yolk sac, and a heartbeat, before he is comfortable enough to release you into the care of your OBGYN. After each of these tests, I would be relieved to receive good results, but then start worrying about what would happen next.
To be continued...
My transfer (on Thursday, 11/10/16) went well. I went to my acupuncture appointment beforehand, suffered through the discomfort of a full bladder during the transfer, went to my follow up acupuncture appointment, and then went home and rested. While I took things pretty easy last time, I was even more "lazy" this time around and stayed in bed (or lied on the couch) for essentially the entire time I was at home (Thursday-Monday). I even switched my flight to a day later to give myself an extra day. I ate pineapple core, walnuts and Brazil nuts, drank pomegranate juice, and kept my feet warm. I was extra careful to sleep on my back only, and then eventually started sleeping on my sides as well.
 |
| Embryo (5 days) |
On Tuesday, 11/15/16, I flew back home. David met me at the airport, and as soon as we got my luggage, we hopped in the car and stopped in a random parking lot so he could give me my Progesterone injection. The next day, I went back to work. I had 2 days of work that week, and thankfully, only 1 the next (since it was the week of Thanksgiving). I tried to use automatic doors and take the elevator as much as I possibly could. We spent Thanksgiving with friends, but other than that, I laid low and tried to use as little energy/strength as possible.
I had every intention of not doing a HPT, but on the evening of Friday, 11/18/16 (8dp5dt), David (forgot) and playfully smacked me on my butt, which immediately made me start freaking out. I gave in to my anxieties and took a cheap dollar store test, fully expecting it to be negative...except a faint second line finally appeared after the full 5 minute wait! At first, I thought it was a phantom line, and I read and re-read the instructions. After the wait time, it was clear that while light, there was definitely a second line! I called him into the bathroom and asked him what he saw. I think his reply was something like, "I'm going to be very cautious before believing anything." All the anxieties, fear, and worry, immediately rushed away. I could not believe it!
The next day, and the next day, and the next day, I took several more dollar store tests. I checked to see if the second line was still there and if it was getting darker. I even splurged and got a First Response Early Result test, and the second line was darker than the control line.
What was so weird was that during my 2ww, I did not have many symptoms at all, if any. The first transfer, I had headaches, cramping, heartburn, nausea...this time around, I had a couple headaches that I attributed to the injections...but a few days before taking the HPT, I remember sleeping with my hands on my abdomen, and I felt pregnant. Of course, I dismissed the idea, since I didn't know what it felt like to be pregnant.
Finding out I was pregnant was the most amazing feeling in the world, but it sucked because the only person I could share it with was David. We didn't want to share it with anyone else until I had passed all my beta tests and possibly even heard the heartbeat. My first beta was scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving, so we thought it would be perfect to tell my parents (who were visiting my brother) on Thanksgiving day. I was so nervous on the day of the beta (11/23/16), but was so excited when my nurse called me. She said, "Congratulations. You're pregnant!" and told me that my HCG level was at 665.7, which was higher than I had expected. My second beta was scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving, 11/25/16, and the number rose to 1,690. The third was that following Monday, 11/28/16, and it was 6,013!
I thought that getting a positive on a HPT would make everything super easy from there on out, but I was so wrong. With IVF, you are faced with so many hurdles during the entire process, and no sooner do you make it over one, that you are faced with ten more. The doctor wants to see your betas rise (preferably by 65%) with each test. After that, you are scheduled for ultrasounds at 6-7 weeks and then again at 8-9 weeks. He expects to see major milestones in development such as a fetal pole and yolk sac, and a heartbeat, before he is comfortable enough to release you into the care of your OBGYN. After each of these tests, I would be relieved to receive good results, but then start worrying about what would happen next.
To be continued...
