PGS Results

Last Friday (6/17/16) the nurse called me with the PGS results (a week sooner than expected). The news was not great. Out of the 4 blasts biopsied, only 1 was normal. Two were abnormal (1 missing chromosome 2, 1 missing chromosome 17), and the 4th was non-concurrent (inconclusive without further biopsy/testing). To make matters worse, my doctor wasn't able to discuss things until today (5 days later), so there was a lot of anxiety and replaying different scenarios in my mind all weekend long.

I finally spoke to the doctor today and we discussed moving forward with a FET of the normal blast, and the possibility of re-testing the non-concurrent one either now or later on. He said with where we are now (with PGS testing concluding a normal blast), there is a 65% chance of pregnancy, 10% chance of miscarriage, and 58% chance of live birth. Without the PGS, the birth rate would go down to 50%. He said that my attrition rates have been pretty average so far, (although 1 normal out of 3 would be slightly below average; 2 out of 4 would be average).

Part of me is excited to move forward. I am happy that we even get to move forward, but of course my mind starts thinking that if this doesn't work, and the 4th embryo is also abnormal, I'll have to start another cycle...and if I start another cycle, when could that possibly be because I don't have another long break from work until December. I also can't help but think that not having any extra (normal) embryos means there's no chance of a second baby...which is silly because at this point, I should only be focusing on having even one baby--which I would be thrilled, overjoyed, elated, and so blessed to have!

Today will be my last day of birth control, and I have a baseline BW and U/S appointment tomorrow morning at 7:45am. I'm scheduled to start Del Estrogen injections (intramuscularly!) tomorrow evening. We have decided to hire a nurse to come to the house to teach us how to do the first intramuscular (IM) injection. I am thinking my mom will be the one to give me those! Not looking forward to that...

Day 6 after ER

I received phone calls from the nurse on Days 1-2, and today, Day 5. The ER counts as Day 0, and we left knowing they had retrieved a total of 19 eggs. On Day 1, the nurse called to tell me that of the 19 eggs retrieved, 17 were mature, and 11 had fertilized successfully. On Day 2, we found out that of the 11 embryos, we had 2 x 2-cells, 3 x 3-cells, 4 x 4-cells, and 2 x 5-cells. Days 3-4 fell on the weekend, and the lab likes to allow the embryos to develop undisturbed during those 2 days. Monday was Day 5, which is the day most embryos become blastocysts. Traditionally, embryos were transferred to the uterus on the 2nd or 3rd day of development after IVF because they were only able to sustain growth for 2-3 days in a lab setting. Advances in medicine have allowed them to survive longer than this, after 5 days of growth, in which the cells should have divided many times, with those surviving to this stage likely being stronger and healthier. Basically, a blastocyst is an embryo that has developed for 5-7 days after fertilization, and has 2 distinct cell types and a central cavity filled with fluid (Advanced Fertility, 2016).

On Day 5 (Monday), the nurse called to tell me that 2 of the embryos had reached blastocyst and were biopsied and frozen. (We are doing PGS, so the biopsy will be sent to the lab and the embryos will be frozen until we are ready to transfer.) She told me that there were 3 embryos at the early blastocyst stage, and that the remaining embryos were as follows: 1 x 3-cells, 4 x 6-cells, and 1 x 7-cells. She said that they were going to check again tomorrow to see if any of the early blasts had reached full blast stage and also to check on the progress of the remaining 6. To be honest, this news hit me pretty hard. I was expecting the numbers to go down every day, but I hadn't expected to go from 11 to 2. I immediately started worrying and bracing myself for a failed cycle. What's worse is that David had to leave yesterday so I got the news right as we were eating lunch together, before heading to the airport. :(

Today was Day 6, and I was incredibly nervous when I answered the phone. The nurse told me that 2 more had made it to blastocyst and they were able to biopsy and freeze them. I immediately felt better, knowing we now have 4 embryos that made it. We still have 3 more compacted morula, that are not quite blastocysts yet. When they are compacted, the cells and cell borders are becoming fuzzy as the embryo "compacts" or melts together. This is basically the stage right before blastocyst. So I am praying hard for those compacted embryos to grow tonight and make it to the blastocyst stage tomorrow. Tomorrow is Day 7, the last day they will be allowed to grow to. After this, the embryos that haven't reached blastocyst will be discarded. The remaining 4 embryos are as follows: 1 x 3-cells, 2 x 6-cells, and 1 x 7-cells. Most likely these will not make it to blastocyst by tomorrow (Day 7), but I am praying for a miracle.

As silly as it sounds, throughout these 6 days, I have gotten attached to these 11 embryos. The night of Day 2, after the nurse told us 11 had fertilized successfully, I started praying hard for each of those 11 embryos. It was amazing to me to know that conception had occurred, that this had actually happened, and these could be our future babies. Knowing that some of the embryos won't make it makes me a little sad. I have been rooting for them and praying for them and and thinking about them, and it's upsetting to think about them being discarded. I know that this happens naturally in our bodies, and that the reason they are discarded is because they would not survive beyond this, but part of me can't help but be a little sad and grieve for them.

On a happier note, I weighed myself this morning and I am back down to my original weight (before starting stims), so at least the bloating is going down.